A Simple Invitation…
When to Invite Someone to Church.
“Nobody Is Mean There”
This past week, Eliza and Wilder spent some time with the youth group and young adults at a pool party hosted by the O’Neil family. On their way back to the car, they met someone walking a dog through the neighborhood.
The kids wanted to meet the dog, and the dog wanted to meet the kids. While they were petting this very fat, very happy Labrador, the owner asked what they had been doing. They explained:
“We were at a pool party with our church. You should come to our church. Nobody is mean there.”
That is a pretty good testimony on behalf of NHCBC: “Nobody is mean there.”
I am sure each of you could name something about our fellowship that makes NHCBC feel like home to you. Maybe it is the friendships you have formed here. Maybe it is our commitment to serving others, the music, the welcome your children receive, the conversations in your Sunday School class, or the way you are encouraged to ask honest questions about faith. Maybe it is simply the knowledge that when you walk through the doors, people are glad to see you.
As we begin looking toward the fall, the return of Sunday School, and worship moving back to the 11:00 hour on September 13, this is a good time to think about what makes NHCBC special to you. It is also a good time to think about who else might appreciate experiencing the love we have found here, both in Christ and in one another.
Inviting someone to church does not need to be awkward, forceful, or complicated. You do not need a speech. You do not have to answer every theological question they might ask. You simply need to pay attention, listen with care, and offer a sincere invitation.
Here are four simple moments when an invitation might come naturally.
“I’m new here.”
When someone tells you, “I’m new here,” that can be a natural opportunity to invite them.
It might sound like:
“I’m new to Pittsburgh.”
“We just moved into the neighborhood.”
“I’m new to this school.”
“I just started working in this office.”
Starting over in a new place can be lonely. People are often looking for friendships, community, and a sense of belonging. You can simply say:
“You should come to church with me this Sunday.”
You are not pressuring them. You are offering them a place where they might find welcome and connection.
“I’m not doing well.”
We often ask people, “How are you doing?” without expecting much more than, “Fine.” But sometimes someone answers honestly.
“I’m really exhausted.”
“I haven’t been coping very well lately.”
“Things have been hard.”
When that happens, the first thing to do is listen. Be present. Show them that you care about what they are going through.
Then, when it feels appropriate, you might say:
“You should come to church with me this Sunday.”
Church will not instantly fix every problem, and we should never pretend that it will. But it can surround someone with people who care. It can remind them that they are not alone. It can offer hope, prayer, friendship, and a community willing to walk beside them.
“I wasn’t ready for that.”
Life has a way of surprising us.
Someone may tell you that they were not ready for a diagnosis, a divorce, a death, a change at work, a difficult conversation with their child, or some other unexpected turn.
“I never thought this would happen.”
“I don’t know what to do next.”
“I wasn’t ready for this.”
These moments can remind people that they need somewhere to bring their questions, grief, and uncertainty. After listening and responding with compassion, you can make the invite:
“You should come to church with me this Sunday.”
You do not have to promise that church will provide an easy answer. You are simply inviting them into a community where they do not have to carry everything by themselves.11
A shared interest
This brings us back to my children’s glowing review of NHCBC: “Nobody is mean there.”
Sometimes the easiest invitation grows out of something you already love about your church.
Someone says, “I’ve been feeling pretty lonely,” and you think about the friendships you have found here.
Someone says, “I just got this sick new guitar,” and you think about the musicians in our church.
Someone says, “I’ve never really understood the Bible,” and you think about your Sunday School class or the preaching and teaching you hear each week.
Someone says, “I’m worried about my child making friends,” and you think about our children and youth ministries.
Someone says, “I wish there were some way I could make a difference,” and you think about the ways our congregation serves our neighbors.
Whenever something they are looking for connects with something you value about NHCBC, that can be a natural opportunity to say:
“You should come to church with me this Sunday.”
That is all an invitation needs to be.
It is not a sales pitch. It is not an argument. It is not a demand that someone believe everything we believe before they walk through the door.
It is simply one person saying to another, “I have found something meaningful here, and I think you might find something meaningful here too.”
They may say yes. They may say no. They may say, “Maybe someday.” That part is not ours to control. Our part is simply to notice the people around us, listen to what they are experiencing, and leave the door open.
You do not need to be an expert evangelist. You do not need the perfect words. You can begin with one person, one conversation, and one simple invitation:
“You should come to church with me this Sunday.”
Or, in the words of Eliza and Wilder: when they met someone friendly, remembered how much they love their friends at church and made the invitation:
“You should come to our church. Nobody is mean there.”
Grace and Peace,
Pastor Jeremy.
- The first three invitation prompts are adapted from Andy Stanley’s “Three Little Nots” framework: someone is not in church, life is not going well, or they are facing something for which they are not prepared. ↩︎