The holiday season can be difficult for many individuals. Christmas is not always a “merry” time; some people have lost loved ones, experienced the trauma of divorce, faced financial challenges, or feel overwhelmed by holiday preparations.
Here are some helpful tips for this season, especially for loved ones who lost a sibling or a child or are still grieving:
Avoid cliché phrases such as “God’s will” or “Everything happens for a reason,” or think that because your friend looks strong, you admire their fortitude in faith.
In an article published in NPR, Julia Furla says, “Phrases focused on healing or moving on are also not helpful to your friend, who may want to sit in their grief and process it a little longer.” She suggests letting your loved ones know “that you love them, that it’s hard, and that you’re sorry. “
Accompany them in their grief, call them, visit them. Pastoral care extends beyond the clergy; it is a calling for all of us.
” Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:5, ESV)
Your friends and loved ones are not superheroes; they are made of flesh and bones, have feelings, and can bleed. Just because they look strong on the outside does not mean they are not hurting on the inside.
If your friends or loved ones feel up to it, invite them for dinner or lunch. It does not hurt to ask. In our individualistic culture, we feel that we can do everything ourselves, and if we ask for help, we are seen as weak.
The life of a Christ believer is not meant to be done alone but in the company of others. We are the Body of Christ, and our mission is to walk with people in all seasons of life.
Last, check on people and follow up with them; everyone grieves and mourns differently. The more important thing is that you show up for them, listen to them, and if there is anything that can be done, do it, even if that means just sitting with them or providing groceries.
If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. 27 All of you are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. (I Corinthians 12:26-27, NLT)
Rev. FELICIA ZAMORA
Associate Pastor of Pastoral Care at North Hills Community Baptist Church