Lately there has been a lot of chatter about empathy in the Christian corners of social media, TikTok, and the podcast world.
Folks have been debating whether empathy is good or bad, whether it belongs in the Christian life, whether it’s soft, or sentimental, or even dangerous. I have even seen some refer to it as “the sin of empathy.”
This new conversation about Christians needing to avoid empathy has shocked many in the Church, including myself, because the way of Jesus has always been the way of empathy.
Sympathy vs. Empathy: Why the Difference Matters
Let’s start by getting clear on what we mean. Sympathy sees pain and feels bad for someone. It stands at a distance, nods with concern, and maybe offers a polite, “I’m so sorry you’re going through that.”
Empathy sees pain and steps into it. It doesn’t just say, “Wow, that’s tough.” It moves toward the suffering person. It enters their experience. Empathy is allowing yourself to feel what the other feels.
It’s the difference between standing at the top of a hole and calling down, “I hope you’re okay!” versus climbing down into the hole, sitting beside them, and saying, “I know this is hard. I’m here with you.” (This image comes from Brene Brown.)
And when we look at Jesus, what do we see? Jesus is never standing at the top of the hole – at a distance. Jesus is always stepping in.
Charity vs. Compassion: How We Respond to Others
This difference—between sympathy and empathy—shapes how we respond to the needs around us.
Sympathy → Charity
Charity gives from a distance.
Charity is transactional—meeting an immediate need, but keeping emotional space.
Charity asks: “What can I do to help?”
Now, to be clear, charity is good! It’s just not enough.
Empathy → Compassion
Compassion steps into suffering.
Compassion is relational—it moves beyond relief to relationship.
Compassion asks: “How can I be with you in this?”
Jesus never settles for charity.
Jesus doesn’t just toss resources at the hurting—he moves toward them.
He touches the leper.
He weeps with Mary and Martha.
He feeds the hungry, but then sits down to eat with them.
He doesn’t just fix problems—he enters them.
And church, if we follow Jesus, we are called to do the same.
The Scriptural Call to Empathy
Now to be clear, this is not a modern idea. Empathy, compassion, and drawing near to suffering have always been at the heart of God’s character.
Deuteronomy 10:18-19 – “He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner…and you are to love those who are foreigners, for you yourselves were foreigners in Egypt.”
Isaiah 58:6-7 – “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice…Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter?”
Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 145:8-9 – “The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.”
And then Jesus steps onto the scene.
Matthew 9:36 –”When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”
John 11:33-35 – “When Jesus saw her weeping… he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled… Jesus wept.”
Hebrews 4:15 tells us we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are.
Jesus knows suffering.
He doesn’t look at our pain from a safe distance—he enters into it, and this is the reality at the heart of the Gospel. That God didn’t stay away, God didn’t keep Godself clean and free from our mess, that God didn’t (and doesn’t) just love us from a distance, but that in Jesus, God came near, God joined us in our mess, God joined us in our suffering, God came to us.
…For God so loved that world…
Romans 5:6-8
For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. … But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
1 Timothy 1:15
The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.
Colossians 1:21-22
And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him.
Ephesians 2:4-5
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved.
Titus 3:4-5
But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit.
1 Peter 3:18
For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit.
Hebrews 9:26
But as it is, he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself.
1 John 4:9-10
In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
We must always be on guard against becoming the kind of people who keep suffering at arm’s length, who toss resources from a safe distance, who say, “I’ll pray for you,” and move on.
Instead, we must endeavor to be people who step in.
People who move toward the hurting.
People who sit in the struggle, even when we don’t have answers.
Empathy is what transforms a church from a place people go to a people they belong to.
Empathy is what turns:
Programs into relationships.
Outreach into hospitality.
Missions into shared life.
If we want to be a people who embody the way of Jesus, we must be a people who see others, step into their pain, and love them where they are.
The way of Jesus is always the way of empathy.
Let’s live like it. Let’s live like Jesus.
Grace and Peace,
Pastor Jeremy